Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Is their susegad nature good for Goans?

The heated debate on the 'Susegad' nature of Goan continues...here are few opinions.

Ken Says-->
The whole question rests on the context of being 'susegad'. The stereotype of being susegad applies to Goans being content with their surroundings and to living a full life, eating and drinking well and enjoying oneself.
In spite of this sometimes negatively taken appellation, a quick glance at history indicates that Goans have excelled far beyond the expectation of such a small portion of the population
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_from_Goa
Goa had trade links and was an established port trading with the Arabs long before the western influences reached Goa. In spite of the tyranny of the rulers and clergy, Goans soon earned the respect of the Portuguese through their brilliance and Industry. As early as 1757, the Prime Minister Marquês de Pombal and the King of Portugal, D.José I, signed a Royal decree granting all Portuguese Indians (Goa, Damão and Diu) Portuguese citizenship and equal status and rights under the law
with the Metropolitan Portuguese. Neither the British, nor French, nor
Dutch, had ever granted such a status to their Asian subjects. Goans went still further and shone in the major cities of Europe in all spheres of life.
Even while this was happening, they developed dance forms, music, social gatherings, festivals and lifestyles that allowed their souls to enjoy what the sweat of their brow had earned.
In a lot of other cultures in India such was not the case. Life stems around just work and any form of enjoyment is seen as something sinful and indicative of a susegad nature. Today, even in many MNC’s, people who work late and spend long hours at work (often for want of an alternative) are seen as most desirable employees.
If to work hard and party harder, makes me susegad, so be it! I am proud of it!
A lot of things are going wrong in Goa but this is more because of a decline in our value system and an indifference to our cultural identity. For many sad Goans, eating and drinking is the ethos of being Goan. Others like to be slaves to pseudo patriotism that is limited to lip service and watching war movies of soldiers defending boundaries. Still others are keenly involved in trying to bring down others who might be doing good but who do not suit their expectations or whose virtues arouse jealous sentiments in them. There is a rush to form fragmented groups and in this division we fall as is evidenced by the political scene in Goa. This has little to do with the susegad nature and is quite another story…………
I read a nice story a few days back which captures the sentiment of being susegad. Happy Reading
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A boat docked in a tiny fishing village.
A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
"Not very long." they answered in unison.
"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"
The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.
"But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. We have a full life."
The tourist interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."
"And after that?"
"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to the City ! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."
"How long would that take?"
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting, " answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen.
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."
"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the fisherman

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nisdis wrote:
Oh Susegad. I think its a good name for a restaurant in Goa.
I realize that we are talking about Goans here but i'd like to add
this to the convo, about Goa:

Whether its good or bad for Goa, well like most issues it has its pros
and cons. Bending a lil more on the pros me think.
This fast paced development in Indian cities has caused more problems
for the state as a whole than solved. I mean to say which Indian city
is well planned and able to cope with the population it produces not
to mention poverty. Anywho its a working progress and India will
manage.
To sum it up i like the way Goa is (a village) and other people should
not be allowed to setup factories, industries there, instead focus on
education and the already thriving tourism.

Boom!
Nissim



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Here is another opinion from Inacio….


I don’t believe that Goans are susegad. Are not our people working in the
Gulf, Canada, Europe etc. Are Goans not employed in cruise ships, where they
have to sacrifice time from their families? Do we really think that it is
the susegad nature that drives many of our young men to leave their homes,
work difficult times on foreign ships / lands, learn new languages all on
their own? Are our people not exposed to racial harassment in these lands?
Do the employers in the Gulf or in other lands hire our people because they
aren’t willing to work? I think not.

I believe that the talented Goans leave Goa because of economic
compulsions, not because of lack of love for our land / non-readiness to
work. What are the wages in Goa? How many jobs in Goa make it possible for
one to provide a decent quality of life for his / her loved ones? Would we
not like our mothers to use an automatic washing machine so that she doesn’t
have to toil hard for washing? Would we not like our fathers to retire &
enjoy their old age without worries? Would we not like our brothers /
sisters to be safer traveling in a car than on a motorbike? I see many
positives because I sense a strong drive in our people to better their lives
or the lives of their loved ones.

Yes, there are some that bad apples among our people, but do we keep
blaming one another? Will that change anything? Every generation, it seems
blames the one after it. The old lament that today’s youth are no good &
don’t care. The youth today will be the older generation tomorrow & will say
the same & the cycle continues. The old must inspire the new. Those who have
established themselves were once young, had only their dreams to drive them.
They must pass on their dreams to the next generation of Goans. It is this
next generation that will decide our land’s fate.

What our people lack is AWARENESS. What our people lack are ROLE MODELS.
How many of us know of Goan men & women who have been the epitome of
excellence, hard work & honesty? Our heroes are not celebrated. Did not
tales of valor among Greek / Roman heroes inspire their countrymen to
overcome odds & establish great empires? Do not young footballers idolize
Pele or Maradona & dream of surpassing them? The deeds of these
extraordinary men / women inspire us to overcome pain or hurdles because of
the belief if they can do it why can’t we?

We have to inspire our young Goans. We have to give them dreams, that
someday, with honesty, hard work, commitment & determination they can
achieve great things. Why can we not find a Bill Gates among our young? Let
us not lament on what people say our nature is. Let us look ahead to the
future. What do I & you want for Goa 5, 10 years from now? It wil not be
easy. Indeed, very few may get inspired. But then if everything were easy,
we all would be millionaires. It is facing difficult challenges & overcoming
them that give a sense of accomplishment.

I often hear a lot that the West robbed our wealth & hence our country is
poor. I beg to differ. Our spices / precious stones were our wealth. There
was no other known route to Asia other than through Central Asia. But with
the discovery of the Americas & new sea routes to Asia, this wealth due to
monopoly trade would someday or the other decline. Where we missed out was
in innovations & inventions. The last century witnessed a sudden burst of
inventions & innovations, without which today we cannot imagine surviving.
The refrigerator, the light bulb, the automobile & many such more. This is
what drove the economies of USA & Japan. Their wealth is the result of
creativity & not natural resources. Today, these countries more or less
determine the electronics we use, the cars we drive etc.

Can we not compete with them? Can we not motivate our school children to
innovate & invent? Can we not our share knowledge so that someone else may
use it to make something better? If it weren’t for the discovery of radio
waves, there would be no such thing as a mobile phone. The persons who
invented the mobile phone did not discover radio waves. They took an
existing idea to make it something extraordinary. Our youth are propped up
to be service workers. Not knowledge workers. Others invent & set up
companies & we work for them. Can our youth not become entrepreneurs &
launch companies that rival the best in the world?

I believe we can do it. We need innovative ideas to solve our problems. We
can provide scholarships to students who show values of an ideal citizen.
Panchayats / village clubs can organize Young Inventor / innovator
competitions. The same can give awards to members who work for the community
/ display honesty. We need to discourage easy money which our youth is
running after today. Encourage the young to embrace difficulty. Show them
that through honest work they can achieve the same with honor.

In short, encourage people to be good / to excel / to work for the
community. Reward excellence. Inspire the young.

So it isn’t anything to do with the fact that our nature is susegad or
anything else. Focusing on such matters is useless. Focusing on what can be
done & doing it is what matters.


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[Goanet-News] Goanet Reader: A Letter To The Bleddy Goans From An East Indian Bugger (Godfrey Pereira)
>
> A Letter To The Bleddy Goans From An East Indian Bugger
>
> By Godfrey Pereira
>
> Ex-SUNDAY magazine (Kolkata)
> and INDIA TODAY journalist
> Godfrey Pereira doesn't pull his punches...
>
> Recently I journeyed back to Goa. In the twenty five years
> that I had been gone, there had been changes for the worse. I
> could see that. Calangute, poster beach for tourism had tacky
> bhel puri stalls and loud Bollywood music; and dirt -- and
> dog feces, similar to the old Chowpatty Beach in Bombay
> before the state government cleared the lepers colony.
>
> Baga beach was filled with cheap Russians swilling Kingfisher
> Beer. And, while Russian Grannies sunbathed topless, oil
> massage beggars pandered to their drooping breasts. Anjuna
> was loaded with Buddhist trinkets and thrash. And what have
> you, the bloody Goans been doing while all these changes have
> been going on?
>
> The Russians have been openly running drugs in Goa? Army
> deserters from Israel have put up signs in Goa clubs stating,
> 'No Indians Allowed?' What have you paowallahs been doing?
> Eating last night's curry for breakfast? Complaining?
> Sushegad?
>
> Beach after beach is being decimated and not a peep
> from The Goans. You bleddy Goan men! What has
> happened to the cashew nuts between your legs? And
> the Goan women don't seem to care. Their sons are
> in The Gulf or Canada, sending money back home. Let
> somebody else revolt. It is none of your business.
> Bleddy, pass pao men. Make sign of the cross. Do
> the mando. Bleddy, never mind men, if husband is
> nutless! It is God's will!
>
> In Mumbai thousands of people from the ten villages of the
> Gorai-Uttan belt have been fighting Essel World. They are
> protesting against the proposed Special Entertainment Zone
> (SEZ) spread over 14,183 acres in the area. They know they
> stand to lose the core of their culture if this happens and
> so they are fighting this encroachment disguised as tourism.
>
> At least The East Indians there are trying. What have you
> Goans been doing as mining companies rape your hills and
> plunder your fresh water resources? What? Have another Cashew
> Feni? Talk about how Aunty Mary's daughter is now going out
> with that bleddy German bugger? Or, are you'll fighting your
> sisters, for property that you don't think they deserve?
>
> What has happened to you bloody Goans? For the sake of the
> good lord, please wake up; the politicians are stealing your
> nuts from under you. The mining companies are copulating with
> the politicians. Don't you hear their grunts? They penetrate
> so deep, scouring for ore that they have destroyed many a
> water table. And when the ore has been gouged out, they leave
> the land, raped and bleeding red. Goa with her thighs spread,
> an ugly red gash that was once green!
>
> Have you not seen this happening? If you have not, then
> perhaps you should convert to East Indianism. Ha! Sushegad.
> What say you stupid? Soon there will be not enough water to
> nourish the cashew trees on farms across Goa. Now you know
> what I mean about stealing your nuts, you stupid Goans. One
> Lone Snap Shot. Quepem town in south Goa , the villages of
> Maina and Kawrem,
>
> Cheryl D'Souza, her nine-year old daughter Aki, her
> mother Dora, aged eighty-four, are fighting the
> miners who have destroyed their dignity and who now
> want to destroy Paikeachi Zor {Paik's Spring} a
> fountain head for the villagers. They want to buy
> her land, Sanfranscisco Estate and turn it into a
> graveyard.
>
> Cheryl D'Souza knows the deathly silence of graveyards well,
> her husband's ashes are scattered over her farm. When the
> miners wanted to rape her little daughter and take away her
> very existence, Cheryl turned She Wolf, feral and snarling,
> to thwart the beasts who are literally panting at her
> doorstep.
>
> She wants to keep them away. They want to rape and then eat
> her daughter alive. She has pleaded, begged of the Goans to
> help her fight this juggernaut that is pounding Goa but the
> Goans have stayed silent. Let her fight, let her go to jail,
> let her young daughter and old mother be incarnated, raped;
> we will continue to dip our paos in last night's stale curry,
> looking into our cracked plates so that we do not have to see
> or know. What a shame! What a bleddy shame, you paowallahs!
>
> The miners made her a monetary offer that they thought she
> could not refuse. She did. They threatened her. She fought
> back. They humiliated her. She snarled in protest. They
> thought they had won the battle.
>
> One bright morning she declared war and tried to stop the ore
> trucks that were carting away the life blood of her Goa. They
> arrested her and her daughter and her old mother. And the
> Goans stayed silent watching her being gang raped by the
> politicians and the miners. What kind of people have you
> bloody Goans become?
>
> When a man does not care about his very nuts being endangered
> there must be something fundamentally wrong with that man.
> And the Goan women, so many of who depend on the land for
> their existence watch the men and do nothing. They watch.
> It's not their problem. Pass Pao Men. Say Rosary! Go Church!
>
> At least the East Indians in Gorai have the spunk to protest.
> You stupid sushegad Goans are watching your state being
> turned around on its face and brutally buggered. Three women
> fighting a beast. You watch from afar. Is this entertainment?
>
> My old friend Bal Thackeray once told me, "Sometimes it is
> better to throw a few stones." It is a pity that the Tiger
> cannot fight with the She Wolf; maybe; just maybe, it would
> turn the mining beast around.
>
> And all you despicable Goans, who will not fight to
> save your nuts, go ahead have another feni. Or
> maybe, maybe, you will start to throw a few stones.
> Never mind what the Bible says. You can go to
> church in the morning, go to confession, say three
> Hail Mary's, but please do something, before your
> Goa is Gone. I say to you gutless Goans. The East
> Indians have bigger nuts and their sorpotel is
> better. Bleddy, What Say You Men? If you still have
> nuts, go on, throw the first bleddy stone!

Mac

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Neville ...CS RuLeS... wrote:
Hi,

I do feel that the sussegad nature has done some harm to our
individuals of our community(mainly because of the media hyped news
of drugs,sex and corruption in Goa), but I have to disagree that this
is the reason for under development and Goa is by far one of the
better states in our country in terms of education, infrastructure and
overall development. Also compared to other states Goans in a high
percentage have been doing well and many of us have reached far beyond
what people would imagine.

Regarding selling of land to outsiders which was a major problem, this
should drastically reduce now as a law has been passed allowing only
Goans to acquire land in Goa( correct me if I am wrong(illegal
procuring of land under a goan's name has been a way to bypass this
but there is reduction)), and also the visas being offered for
tourists which were initially offered for 6 months periods have now
been made of 3 month duration, so there are definitely some steps
being taken towards accessing the current issues.

SO I do feel that though the sussegad tag line might have affected us
in some small ways, it might have benefitted us in greater ways, think
of other tag lines like kanjusi, cunning, selfish and over smart which
some other states are known for- I would prefer sussegad any day...:)

Cheers Goans and you should be proud of your culture and your
beautiful state...Lets not leave it at that and if given an
opportunity to improve the state further, do take it, as it is we who
should do what we can to develop our state....whether that means being
a moral and un-corrupt minister or whether that means picking up a
plastic bad from 18th June road and throwing it in a dustbin!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

You KNOW you are GOAN when ( As found in an e-mail forward of unknown origin)

• Your house smells like fried onions and fried fish.
• No matter where you go in the world you will find another Goan named D'Souza or Fernandes.
• When you tell your parents you got 98% in an exam and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.
• Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
• Everyone is a family friend.
• You went to a university as far away from home as possible.. You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
• You fight over who pays the dinner bill..
• You don't understand what "No thank you" means after you have offered food to someone ....and yet you keep on insisting.
• You have to outdo your friends with something that is bigger, better and more expensive, even if you can't afford it.
• You're walking out of customs at the airport and you see all 25 members of your family who have come to pick you up.
• You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage that is only 80 lbs. overweight.
• You ask your Dad a simple question and he tells you the story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
• You have annoying nicknames like Petus, Babush, Bostiao, Butu.....
• You are really confused whether or not you are Portuguese... ....heaven forbid... Indian.
• Your parents push you to get married all the time but find all other races other than Goan unacceptable.
• No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
• You miss a Goan dance and your parents tell you there were lots of young people there.
• You see pictures of the Caribbean and you say "It's just like Goa ."
• You call everybody who's brown and not from Goa 'BINTAKAR' and make fun of them in Konkani.
• Two minutes into a conversation you tell a stranger you have 2 acres and 20 coconut trees.
• You are comfortable going for a holiday back to Goa in May.... just to sample the mangoes, sorpatel and Goa sausages.
• You are well versed in property law even though you're a welder by profession and haven't passed 10th grade.
• You have six middle names most of which you can't pronounce.
• Your entire family is constantly fighting over property they inherited from somebody else.
• You interject 'what', 'men' and 're' in every line of your conversation.
• You make the sign of the cross before driving over bridges..
• You eat last night's curry the next morning.
• Lastly, you are certainly not Goan if you don't eat pork, dance, drink Feni and drive.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Adventure trip to Savanadurga.

Place: Savanadurga
Picture: Savanadurga

Getting up in the morning is not Charlie's cup of tea, unless its to watch basketball, but this time he did. Kenelm had pinged Charlie about a trip to a place called Savanadurga and asked to get in touch with Dushyant. Lazy ass Charlie asked me to do it. I pinged Dushyant, and what happened next turned out to be a very memorable trip for the 6 of us who went to Savanadurga.

Saturday morning was a pretty cold one. Charlie and me could feel the chill on the bike as we rode to meet an unknown Goan waiting for us next to the Airtel building on the Bannerughatta road. Dushyanth turned out to be a very friendly guy. We passed time talking about each other residence in Goa while waiting for the others to come. After a while Kenelm, Rishi and Vibha came in the tempo traveller. The tour guide and his accomplices with their gear were also there. Looking at the gear gave me a feeling of what's to come. It made me happy.

We had to stop by for 4 others who had also joined the trip. None of us knew who they were. found out later that they were a bunch of college guys who like us were in for a thrill ride.

The guide suggested a place the Idli's are supposed to be very good. We agreed to this expecting the best. what turned out was a rotten place with pretty decent idli's. Not the very best but good enough for hungry souls. The tea was awesome though.

We left from there to Savanadurga filled but not too content. Catching up on the places we all grew up in and talking about some of your funny moments really helped us bond. But what really did the trick was talking about some of your roommates and how we dealt with things in past. What was real fun was how we laughed at those things.

At around 10 we reached Savanadurga. After a quick rest room break, we headed out to the mountain. The place was beautiful. It looked like the mountains were calling. Thru the jungle we trudged along till we reached a flat rock. The guide made us stand in a circle and made us do some funny exercises. We were asked to stretch our hands in the front and say jiggy jiggy hola hola. Same thing we repeat by raising our hands, and then by bending forward and shaking our asses. That really helped us break out from our sleep.

The guide then directed us to go find the caves. Looking around one does not really anything. All of us went in different ways. One guy found the opening and all of us headed in there. Crawling, grunting (Kenelm only), climbing we managed to go thru the 4 caves and off we headed for rappling. You have to watch the snaps for this. For those who do not know what is Rappling, its, climbing from a flat surface of the rock using a rope. The guide and his troupe were accomplished rappler's as we saw from the demos they gave us. First one to climb down was Dushyant, the brave. The scary Kenelm after initially refusing to climb down finally managed pull in some guts after seeing Vibha get down. The best was Charlie, he was not able to climb down at first, fell on his ass on the flat surface and was looking at the world upside down. Thanks to the harness, he was saved. We had a good laugh looking at him though.

The next was Naryal pani and some bhel puri. The famished 6 did not really care for the quality this time and ate was thrown on our plate. Post our mini lunch we headed out for high rope traversing. In this event, a rope is tied high above the ground between 2 trees and we have to go from one end to the other. We have a pulley like harness attached to our hip and we slid across to reach the other end.

My aim is not very good. I found this out at the next event. Vibha and Dushyant were the pick of the Goan lot hitting almost the bulls eye.

The whole day of events was real fun. We headed out for pre dinner at Kamat upchar on the Mysore road and filled our tummies with some awesome food.

The way back was more fun talking about our things that gave us pleasure.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Fireball 09

It all happened at St. Joseph's Ground . It was the greatest footballing event of the 21st century.
The match started with the White Team having the ball in possession. Inacio Lampard, Rohan Bhutia playing for the White team struck just two minutes into the game. Paresh Terry had supplied the defense splitting passes. The Blues were heart broken as they were 2-0 down in 2 minutes. You could literally see pain in the eyes of Ashley Furtado Ronaldo. He face was red with horror. Charlie Kaka was cool as usual. It seemed like he has been through worse situations than this one. He tried to console the utterly disappointed Ronaldo. That’s when Ronaldo cried out for help. 'Ask and thou Shall receive'

Enter reinforcements like the movies. The force was doubled with Ashley Fabregas now playing alongside Ronaldo. With Ashley's (square) in the Blue team, Kingsley Henry right winger and Eric Drogba the midfielder, it was bad news for the Whites.

“ Its 4-2”, Kenelm shouted from the audience. Yes its 4 goals scored by the Blues!With Ronaldo scoring all the 4 goals in the first half.

Whites were terribly annoyed by the way things had gone, Ian Arshavin was determined to change the fortunes of the White team. They got Manoj Zidane inducted in the White team. There were slurry of attacks on the Blue team and it was definitely on the backfoot. Zidane had made the difference. He had a lot of positive energy. But the Blues held on to the lead by excellent defending thanks to Drogba and Henry.The final score read 4-2 with the Blues as winners.

Thats all Guys!
From your host,

Ashley Fernandes

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Fantastic Meet at French Loaf


My second meetup with GiB and it was really heart-warming to meet all of them. Especially those whom I had met at Oasis Mall followed by the song sessions at Ash's room. Nice to see new faces and got to meet iMac, the apple of my eye aswell as the wise & song-filled Anton. Nice to be intro'd to Rohan & Anisha, Rajaram, Jessel, Clyde and Clinton (though we played basketball b4). Somehow this meetup was way better than the last time. I still remember that I literally wanted to leave Ash's place had it not been for the locked front door...LOL
The venue was splendid. Great choice Ken & thanks for all your efforts to get us in the mood aswell as rounding us up by giving directions, etc. The place actually brought back memories of my time in Paris.
Chkout :
http://picasaweb.google.com/Kingsley.Fernandez/InParis#
There is this somewhat funny incident that happened to me there. I was walking along on my way that weekend morning just exploring the place when this middle-aged woman approaches me and converses in French. Luckily, I know enough to understand so she asks me "Where is the nearest metro?" Which is the underground train station for those of you unfamiliar with metro. I reply back in french, "Sorry, I don't know as I'm just a tourist here but there should be one near the main street around." Oh, btw, she was not that attractive but even if she was, I wouldn't have taken the plunge for any reason especially before marriage but the thought did cross my mind & I could have worked on this opportunity. Anyway, then I ask her in french where she is from, as she was fair, not so tall, sharp facial features besides the "usual" characteristics which looked like a typical french lady. She replied she's indeed from Paris and then I ask again "How come you, living in Paris, don't know where the subways are?". Thought I had caught her if she had some ulterior motives. But that went bust when she replied that she drives around in her own car and recently decided to use public transport which is cheaper and good for the economy and environment at large. Then she counters that with "How come you know to speak french quite well even though ur an outsider?" I reply back saying that "I learned in high school and kept it touch with it till now". She then complimented me on my french and we parted along our separate ways. She's still on my mind though I didn't ask her name. God bless her.
You could say she was part of the reason why I was so romantically spirited if you may. But playing and singing the guitar has always been my deepest desire and if I don't get a chance to do that, I'd rather sing the words or whistle the tune than just be a silent spectator. It was soooo much fun when all of us contributed in some way or the other. I wish I get to master the guitar as good as Ash. He was the epicenter of our gathering. Kudos bro, you amaze me everytime, all the best with UZO. Clinton was gr8 with the few songs he played out and all of us suggested neat songs especially from Arti, Mac and Anton, who was was brimming with new songs, some from his laptop.
The jovial spirit of the group was maintained with jokes of all flavours here and there, especially the Ken & Mac ones. Brothers, I admire the way you'll handled it especially since I've been that kind of butt of jokes for most of my life. It was cool for me coz I had that attitude and never let anger to take control of me. I was deeply shatterred, heart-broken many times but I said to myself, its all for the greater good in God's plan. Atleast, I'm contributing to some fun around by making others happy. So I used to just keep a wry smile on my face though it was a heartache and said a small prayer for God to bless them.
Was surprised that my roomie who had wanted to leave by 5pm actually stayed back and I don't blame him as I was with him during the last meetup. Hence, at the start I asked Ken if he had any agenda as I had my own objectives to complete in my own way but the way it turned out was way beyond what I had anticipated to do. I'm sorry I took that first step by asking one of my brothers to start that agenda of mine, as at the end of that evening, followed by my usual prayer & good night's sleep, I realized all my objectives are completed but with His agenda. Its amazing how we plan to do things our own way and feel depressed when it doesn't work out that way but actually, in the end, everything worked perfectly with His plan. That's why I used to always live with this slogan : "Its all for the best". Let me just modify it a bit, as now I live as "Its all for the best for God's Kingdom." The evening was so exhuberant that had it not been for the evening mass, I wished we could sing and laugh till French Loaf literally threw us out...LOL
I hope there is another meetup soon if God wills or maybe after Easter. I sure miss other sisters in this group whom I had met before. There must be many members in this group whom I've never met till now & I pray we meet in His divine time.

P.S: The French Loaf experience was so profound that I kinda know what MeatLoaf was trying to convey in his song "I would do anything for love but I won't do that..."