You KNOW you are GOAN when ( As found in an e-mail forward of unknown origin)

• Your house smells like fried onions and fried fish.
• No matter where you go in the world you will find another Goan named D'Souza or Fernandes.
• When you tell your parents you got 98% in an exam and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.
• Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
• Everyone is a family friend.
• You went to a university as far away from home as possible.. You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
• You fight over who pays the dinner bill..
• You don't understand what "No thank you" means after you have offered food to someone ....and yet you keep on insisting.
• You have to outdo your friends with something that is bigger, better and more expensive, even if you can't afford it.
• You're walking out of customs at the airport and you see all 25 members of your family who have come to pick you up.
• You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage that is only 80 lbs. overweight.
• You ask your Dad a simple question and he tells you the story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
• You have annoying nicknames like Petus, Babush, Bostiao, Butu.....
• You are really confused whether or not you are Portuguese... ....heaven forbid... Indian.
• Your parents push you to get married all the time but find all other races other than Goan unacceptable.
• No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
• You miss a Goan dance and your parents tell you there were lots of young people there.
• You see pictures of the Caribbean and you say "It's just like Goa ."
• You call everybody who's brown and not from Goa 'BINTAKAR' and make fun of them in Konkani.
• Two minutes into a conversation you tell a stranger you have 2 acres and 20 coconut trees.
• You are comfortable going for a holiday back to Goa in May.... just to sample the mangoes, sorpatel and Goa sausages.
• You are well versed in property law even though you're a welder by profession and haven't passed 10th grade.
• You have six middle names most of which you can't pronounce.
• Your entire family is constantly fighting over property they inherited from somebody else.
• You interject 'what', 'men' and 're' in every line of your conversation.
• You make the sign of the cross before driving over bridges..
• You eat last night's curry the next morning.
• Lastly, you are certainly not Goan if you don't eat pork, dance, drink Feni and drive.